I figured I’d find clothes in thrift stores, but I made sure I had that black cocktail dress and mom’s shoes. It was hard in the beginning not knowing anyone, but I got a room at the Y then went to see Morris Katz at his office on the sixth floor of the Shubert Building. Max was in sixties, bald, fat, but loved jazz. I was nineteen so he got me a fake ID so I could get in those places. He said he had a friend with a small studio apartment in the Village who was away. The guy owed him for something and so I could stay there for nothing for a few months until I got some gigs. I got a job in one of those coffee houses in the village where they had open mikes and any one could sing or read poetry. I liked working there because the tips were good and on weekends lots of tourists came to be part of the Beat, Hippie scene. Most of the waiters and waitresses were actors, dancers, or artists. It was cool listening to all the different singers, some really good, most so-so. They played. No one teaches you how to be an adult. When I was in secondary, everyone else just seemed to know how to do it, but I never did. I lost all my friends because they grew up differently than I did. I guess I didn't grow up at all." "Now Jacob, you grew up just fine." I laugh, giving him a sisterly smack on the ass. "Of course you an Mum say that," Jacob says, pouting, "you're the only women who will ever talk to me, and no offense, but I'm looking for a different kind of female companionship." "I can give you what you want." I say. Once again, Jacob misses the hint. "No," Jacob says, "I mean I want a girlfriend, Lill; not a sister." "Why not both?" I say, stating my intentions in the most obvious way possible, praying that Jacob somehow doesn't fuck this one up. Jacob turns around and looks at me funny. "Did I just hear you say that?" Jacob asks, "Are you fucking with me now, Lill, because I just bared my soul to you and if you're going to fuck with me, then we're just not going to.
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